Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Seeking series: "Dreaming"

oil on linen panel, 12x9 inches

Yes, two posted today. These have been upstairs drying until I could photograph them. I think this is the second I started, and did go through a few changes before it said what I think it was trying to say. Another one that led me to a place I didn't know about.

There's some personal background in all this. Life has markers that delineate shifts you may or may not recognize at the time-- possibly because all one's energy is taken up with just getting through life. Those I have seen only in retrospect. But this winter I experienced one that clearly was a marker, a boundary that made me see myself in life differently. One day that side, next day this side. Simple as that.

The details don't matter. It is the sort of thing that we all experience at some point in our lives, some lives more than others. But consider this: Because matter is both stable and unstable, life is possible. Imagine all the living matter that has resulted from that fact. More, matter seeks to organize in such a way that consciousness becomes possible. We share this with all creatures, perhaps with all matter, to one degree or another. And at some point consciousness becomes awareness. So here we are, alive, conscious, and aware of being alive. And awareness carries with it the possibility of anguish and joy. We get to choose whether to let the anguish extinguish the joy. What I received was a reminder to honor this gift.